January 2012
32 posts
“my blunt full of PC, my cup full of Texas, flowing on that OVO jet”
Jan 1st
December 2011
84 posts
Dec 31st
Dec 30th
Dec 30th
Dec 30th
i’ve always secretly wished mary steenburgen was my therapist. or yoga buddy. or kindergarten teacher. 
Dec 30th
Dec 29th
Dec 29th
Dec 29th
Dec 28th
Dec 26th
Dec 25th
Dec 25th
Dec 25th
i’m slowly turning into larry david
Dec 24th
1 note
all my dad drinks during the holiday is marker’s mark & belvedere.  this break has been well so far, to say the least. 
Dec 23rd
2 notes
Every holiday my mom, dad and brother, each separately and randomly, pull me aside and ask if I’m bringing “anyone special” over. Every time I say no they get offended and assume I’m hoarding “someone special” from them and give me the “it’s okay to be gay” speech. This year it happened right when I woke up, while I was in the office doing...
Dec 23rd
1 note
Dec 22nd
Dec 22nd
Dec 22nd
Just turned on planet earth and within 5 seconds saw a group of otters attacking an alligator. In HD. I forgot how amazing this show is.
Dec 22nd
you're welcome →
Dec 22nd
Dec 21st
2 notes
i found my old sega dreamcast with sonic still in it
Dec 21st
3 notes
no one told me chaz bono has a reality show… on OWN.
Dec 20th
Dec 20th
1 note
NY is on Forbes’ top ten safest cities in America… 
Dec 20th
1 note
Dec 20th
i think i have a tapeworm
i’ve been eating more than an ethiopian at thanksgiving this past week. i want to name it jimmy.
Dec 19th
Dec 19th
christmas shopping is a whole lot more tolerable when you can do it from the comfort of you sofa, whiskey in hand. 
Dec 19th
1 note
Dec 18th
1 note
Dec 18th
Dec 18th
Dec 18th
2 notes
If you’re under 30 and have a receding hairline don’t pretend to be proud of it. Cover that shit up.
Dec 18th
i need to follow people on tumblr who only post photos of fat and/or deformed people. #egobooster #whatsa6pack?
Dec 17th
“I’m a racist, i’m a bigot bitch, i’m thicker than a midget”
Dec 17th
Wait, phones have a power button? That cuts off all forms of communication, from everyone?
Dec 17th
1 note
TGIF
6am and sitting on the bus alongside a man with a teardrop tattoo.
Dec 16th
1 note
Sometimes I wish I was fat so I could buy all the clothes on sale that are only XXL
Dec 16th
my boss told me to send him a short bio about myself to add to the website. “When not in front of the computer, I enjoy staying active, listening to Kanye West, and playing with my dogs.” I didn’t know what else to write…
Dec 15th
1 note
i'm really good at working in a team
#kyleisalwaysright #noquestionsasked
Dec 15th
2 notes
every. tv. in. this. house.
has gilbert gottfried on. dying a slow death.
Dec 15th
Dec 14th
Dec 14th
4 notes
remember goaskalice.com?
Dec 13th
Dec 13th
1 note
Dec 13th
1 note
Landor Associates is hiring… in Beijing, Chicago, Dubai, Geneva, Hamburg, Hong Kong, London, NY, Paris, San Fran, Singapore, Sydney and Tokyo.  may/may not have applied to each one. 
Dec 12th
1 note